Outfit details: dress- asos
I felt compelled to write this after a few conversations I've recently had with my friends. Those conversations took me back to when I was in my early teens and i was at my lowest. If you asked me about self-love then, I probably would have replied "self, what?" that was the least of my concerns plus I thought I knew everything lol. I was really running on empty and pouring myself into people that didn't deserve a drop of my love. The more I continued to do this, the more exhausted I began to feel and of course, those said people took and until there was nothing left to take... users will use you until your all used up. It actually took me some time to realize I was the common denominator in this and so I had no choice but to look within. I started to question myself; why was I doing so much for others and not myself? why did I think this behaviour was acceptable? etc.
The more questions I asked, the more I started to understand I was operating from lack of self-love. My self-esteem was already low before meeting this one guy but after that ordeal, I'd go as far as to say it was pretty non-existent. It took a lot of work on myself to get to where I am now. So, for anyone who is currently suffering from lack of self-love my advice to you would be to:
1. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for what you allowed to happen and also stay away from relationships until you are in a good place mentally because that is the last thing you need right now. Your relationship with yourself is the most important, you need to love yourself so much that you won't deal with disrespectful behaviour should it arise.
2. Write affirmations. Write at least 5 affirmations about yourself and read them twice a day. Read them with conviction and truly believe what you are saying. Also, write down all that you have accomplished no matter how big or small it is.
3. Set boundaries. Get in tune with your feelings and be honest about you are capable of giving to others.
4. Focus on needs instead of wants. Write a list of what you need and stick to it, don't let anyone sway your decisions.
5. Find your happy place. Ask yourself what truly makes you happy and when you find out what/where that place is, don't give it up for anyone. You'll know when you've found it because you'll find the most delicious peace there so, search within until you find it.
6. Be mindful of your inner dialogue. How do you talk to yourself? is it mainly positive or negative? This is something you really need to pay attention to because it affects how you feel about yourself and that spills into all areas of your life. If you're not good at doing something, don't call yourself stupid, instead, say that with practice you'll be able to do it. Be kind to yourself, words are very powerful so be careful what you say.
When we operate from lack we're more likely to settle and tolerate disrespect because we don't believe we deserve better. So. if you are currently feeling like this make sure you do the inner work so you can be the best version of yourself and receive the love you truly deserve.
How do you practice self-love? let me know in the comments..